if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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