That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
