i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize