Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
