on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
