Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he puts the penis in happiness.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
