your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
