how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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