How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
