So drunk its hurt
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
