Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize