addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
