its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
