Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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