idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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