Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So. Much. Porn.
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