so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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