Don't you send me to vm
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i barfeds in our rink
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
