If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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