Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
