so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
