Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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