I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
