I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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