PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
