Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
where are you?
Hypothermia
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
