Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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