so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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