this beer tastes like vomit already
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
