I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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