I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
