Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
