Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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