I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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