Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
