Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
