I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Blood and glitter go together right?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
