so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
