Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
