I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
