Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
