glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
