Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
