He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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