Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
