Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize