that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
