This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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