I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I believe in your delicious
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
