yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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