i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize