Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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