Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
