Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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