you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
