I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
