let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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