Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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