Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
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Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
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She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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