Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
