We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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