i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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