On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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