My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
